Dear
Present Truth Magazine Subscriber:
We
are glad to have you as a subscriber to our Present Truth Magazine. Below
you will find articles from individual authors who have written for our
magazine. Our prayer for all who
receive read these articles is that the Lord "...may give to you the
Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the
knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may
know what is the hope of His calling, and what are the riches of the glory of
His inheritance in the saints” (Ephesians 1:17-18).
The Word and Spirit
By A. Wilson Phillips
In the present hour of our 21st
century, American cultural Christians continue to battle one another in a
warfare of words over the issue of God’s Word and God’s Spirit. A.W. Tozer
said in The Divine Conquest:
... I would bring
everything to the test of the Word and Spirit. Not the Word only, but the
Word and Spirit. “God is a spirit,” said our Lord, “and they that worship
Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.”
While it is never possible to
have the Spirit without at least some measure of truth, it is,
unfortunately, possible to have a shell of truth without the Spirit.
Our hope is that we may have both the Spirit and the truth in a fuller
measure.
In my worldview, Tozer framed
the argument well while speaking as a prophetic voice to his generation.
God has been speaking to and through His prophets and
apostles both in spoken and written words for about the last
3500 years. Unfortunately, we (humanity) have trained ourselves not to
hear or listen to His delegated spiritual authorities. The question
becomes, “If God is speaking today, to whom and through whom
is He speaking?” I believe His Word and His Spirit are communicating to
some of His covenant people.
God has been speaking since the
dawn of creation.
In the
beginning God created the heavens and the earth…Then God said, “Let there
be light”…Then God said, “Let Us make man (ah-dahm) in Our
image, according to Our likeness...” (Gen. 1:1, 3, 26).
God’s Word and Spirit
harmoniously worked together to create the entire universe, including
mankind.
Unfortunately, pride and
rebellion entered God’s creation through an archangel, Lucifer.
God’s holiness demanded judgment (Ezek. 28:11-19; Is. 14:12-21),
and His justice was served. He remained in control, for He upholds all
things by His Word and Spirit (Heb. 1:3). God is both transcendent
(outside of creation) and immanent (involved in creation).
Following the judgment of
Lucifer, God created man in His likeness and image to partner with Him in
governing His planet earth (Gen. 1:26-31; Ps. 115:16).
The serpent shows up in God’s
redemption story/history in the garden of Eden. The serpent
tempted Adam and Eve to rebel against the voice of God—“His Word and
Spirit.” The serpent is identified by God’s Word and Spirit as the devil,
Satan, and the dragon (Rev. 20:2).
Man was caught in the middle of
a word battle between the voice of the serpent and God. Sin/death entered
the human race through Adam’s obedience to the voice of the serpent rather
than the voice of God (Gen. 2:8-3:24; Rom. 5:12). Once again, God’s
holiness demanded judgment against the serpent (Gen. 3:14-15). To mankind,
God promised deliverance from sin/death. God said,
And I will put enmity
Between you (serpent) and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed (Jesus Christ);
He shall bruise your head,
And you shall bruise His heel (Gen. 3:15).
The cross event was in view.
Through the incarnation, the God/Man would take the serpent out.
God’s Word and Spirit
declares:
For it pleased
the Father that in Him (Jesus Christ) all the fullness should
dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by
Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having
made peace through the blood of His cross (Col. 1:19-20).
God’s promise to His covenant
people was spoken and written concerning their redemptive
history. He fulfilled His promise and destroyed the works of Lucifer, the
devil (1 John 3:8).
Today, Father God is still
calling men/women to salvation through His Word and Spirit. Faith comes
through hearing His Word (Rom. 10:17). God’s Spirit makes His Word come
alive as we confess the lordship of His Word. God’s Apostle Paul spoke
and wrote,
But the
righteousness of faith speaks in this way, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who
will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down from above) or,
“‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the
dead). But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in
your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you
confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God
has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one
believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto
salvation. For the Scripture says,
“Whoever
believes on Him will not be put to shame” (Rom. 10:6-11).
The Word and
Spirit are still working harmoniously to bring men/women salvation from
sin/death unto life. We must obey God’s voice through His Word and Spirit.
Make your confession now. Hold fast to your confession of faith. God’s
Word and Spirit say, “The best is yet to come.”
A. Wilson Phillips is the co-founding and senior
pastor of Abundant Life Covenant
Church.
CREATED TO
BE GOD’S PRAISE
By Richard K. Clark
Nearly thirty years ago the
Lord launched me into the ministry of leading His people into praise and
worship. To “lead” in worship, one must first “be” a worshiper; therefore,
I began a diligent quest to understand and practice worship that I might
lead others into God’s presence. I have been continually changed and
forever shall be. In fact, I consider praise and worship to be the
fountains from which all of life flows.
A purely biblical pursuit of
worship and praise is impossible since we must deal with the personal,
cultural, and denominational differences that can separate us and often
hinder us from really enjoying the worship of our God. This requires the
constant anointing and direction from the Holy Spirit.
Worship is the act of bowing
our wills before the almighty God, and praise is the declaration of
Who He is. Worship is our “lifestyle”—in fact, every thought, word,
and deed should be worship to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
Jesus told a Samaritan woman
that He had come to pave the way for true worship. Because Adam’s sin
caused spiritual death, mankind was unable to dwell in the Holy of Holies,
which is Father God’s heart. Therefore, old covenant worship looked
forward to the coming of the Messiah.
But the hour is
coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the
Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to
worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in
spirit and truth (John 4:23-24).
Therefore,
brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus,
by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil,
that is, His flesh... (Heb. 10:19-20).
Through our co-crucifixion with
Christ, He has become our new heart and new spirit (Ezek. 36:26-27).
Christ is also the way to the Father’s heart, the truth, and the life
(John 14:6). He has fulfilled the demands to worship the Father in spirit
and truth, the pure harmony of spirit to Spirit. We can pray and sing with
our spirit, and we can pray and sing with our understanding (1 Cor.
14:15).
Worship and praise are about
loving God, and true worship must be expressed. Intimacy must
flow from our spirit, through our mind, will, emotions, and body. As
we draw near the Lord, He draws near us, and His empowering presence meets
us at the point of our need in the form of our need (James 4:8; Ps.
100:4). We are to approach the Lord in thankful praise continually,
perpetually, unceasingly (Ex 30:7-9; Ps 34:1; 1 Thes. 5:18).
Therefore by
Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that
is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name (Heb. 13:15).
Even depression and heaviness
can be overcome as we clothe ourselves in praise (Is. 61:3). In all
of life’s circumstances, we triumph in our praise (1 Chr.
16:35). It is our priestly ministry in Christ that calls for great praise,
and we are chosen to proclaim His mighty works to the next generation (Ps.
145:3-4).
But you are a
chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own
special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called
you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people
but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have
obtained mercy (1 Pet. 2:9-10).
Ultimately Scripture concludes
that God’s people are created to be His praise: “…that
we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of
His
glory” (Eph. 1:12).
A life of praise-filled worship
will cultivate deep devotion to our God, faithfulness and obedience to His
Word, and a constant communion with His Spirit. Worship/praise is a
supernatural, eternal experience, and as Psalm 150:6 says, “Let
everything that has breath praise the Lord.”
Richard K. Clark is an associate pastor of Abundant Life Covenant Church.
A
Foundation of Holy Spirit & Word
By Benjamin Davis
I deeply appreciate the
foundation given to me through the Baptist church in which I was saved
and trained during my teenage years. One key foundation, which was also
reinforced in my four years at Southwest Baptist University, was the
inerrancy of God’s Word, the Bible. God used these early years of my
faith experience to teach me how to read, study, and depend on His
Word.
One thing not emphasized during
those early years of discipleship and training was the need to develop a
personal relationship with the person of Holy Spirit. I have since come to
learn that an emphasis on both God’s Word and His Holy Spirit is necessary
for a balanced life of truth in Christ.
Some who emphasize God’s Word
but not His Spirit often have come up with sayings that strengthen their
position. For example, I have heard it said, “We are instructed to seek
God’s face, and Holy Spirit is God’s hands.” At first, this may sound
right. However, it does not line up with Scripture. The Word says,
For what man
knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him?
Even so, no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God.
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is
from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us
by God (1 Cor. 2:11-12).
Another translation states it
this way,
It is only a
person’s own spirit within him that knows all about him; in the same way,
only God’s Spirit knows all about God. We have not received this
world’s spirit; instead, we have received the Spirit sent by God, so that
we may know all that God has given us (TEV).
In my early training about the
Bible, I was asked, “Do you believe the Bible is all you need for life and
godliness?” To be accepted in those circles, the easy answer would be
“Yes.” However, Holy Spirit would not allow me to give that answer without
qualifying it by talking about the Spirit and the Word.
Jesus described Holy Spirit as
the “Spirit of truth” (John 14:17). Then He said, “He will guide
you into all truth” (John 16:13). Many believe that the miracles and
supernatural manifestations of God’s Holy Spirit were given only for a
short period of time to complete the Bible. Others believe He was given
only to complete the covenant transition from 30 to 70 A.D. However, Jesus
said,
And I will pray the Father,
and He will give you another Helper,
that He may
abide with you forever (John 14:16). 
Holy Spirit still abides with
us today to guide God’s people into truth and faith through the Word of
God.
Our heavenly
Father will be forever renewing the truth of His Word and the truth
of His Holy Spirit to His people. A strong relationship with both His
Spirit and His Word will be required to live a life of faith in the
21st-century.
Benjamin Davis is an associate pastor of Abundant Life Covenant Church
THE NEED FOR AFFIRMATION
By Jonathan Clark
As is the habit of many
believers, my morning starts with time set aside with the Father. I have
realized through the years that this time is not just ritual but is
extremely important for the success of my day. As the Father and I commune
together, there will be worship, praise, Scripture meditation, Holy Spirit
edification, intercessions, thanksgivings, and words spoken in faith.
One morning near the end of my
quiet time with the Father, I began to realize why this time with the
Father is so important...God had (again) met my deepest need—my need for
daily affirmation. He had validated me as a person of worth, accepted me,
approved me, and confirmed to me that the Christ in me is valuable and
important.
I realized that I, and all
humanity, have real needs and perceived needs. My deepest need—my only
real need—is to be acknowledged and validated by God the Father. I began
to see that my desire for acceptance and approval by others was desirable
(a perceived need) but not required.
Once the Father effectively
communicated to me that I was pleasing to Him,
He
showed me that I could then go into my workplace and become an
affirmer. No longer striving for validation by
others, I could become a “validator” of the Christ in others.
This is a
faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that
those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good
works...to meet urgent needs...
(Titus 3:8,
14).
Jonathan Clark is an elder of Abundant Life Covenant Church and a physician in
Springfield, Missouri.
FULL PARDON
By Paul Gabbert
As a child, I was wounded by an
older brother in Christ. I nursed this offense for years until God began
to deal with me about releasing forgiveness. At times, memory of this
offense would return to haunt me, and I would need His help in releasing
it again.
About a year ago when I was
back in Illinois visiting, I saw this man during the Sunday morning church
service. He had shingles involving his right eye, a very painful
affliction. As we talked and I prayed for his healing, I felt God’s love
and mercy flow through me, and I knew my previous prayers had been
answered as well.
I saw him earlier this summer,
and he told me that after we prayed his symptoms improved drastically, and
he was healed a short time later.
I praise the Lord for both our
healings.
Rejection can hitch a ride on varied wings,
If we choose to embrace it, we suffer the sting.
From loved ones or friends—
The more grievous the pain.
Images of my co-death
Absent from sight
Inviting the darkness
Through inward strife.
Foolishly serving time
Until I called my Lord’s name;
As painful memories returned
To haunt me again.
Choosing not to own them,
I let them fly free
Remembering the forgiveness
My Lord granted me.
Paul Gabbert runs R & P Cleaning
Service.
Living a Good Life
By Patricia Frater
I am 14 years old, and I have
Cystic Fibrosis (CF). CF makes the mucus membranes in my body have thick
secretions. I have a lot of lung infections and other problems. One day
after school, a friend of mine asked me a question: “Why are you going to
die at 13?” I said that I was going to live as many days as God had for
me. I can’t really remember what she said in return, but it didn’t bring
me down.
My parents and pastors have
taught me about how God has set a number of days until I die (Ps. 139:16).
I won’t die any time before or after that number of days. I don’t know
when it’ll be my time, but in the mean while, I live my life God’s way.
Having faith in my life really
helps to deal with the CF. The Lord brings trials to mature me, like
taking care of myself during camp. I have breathing treatments I do 3-5
times a day. I take about 15 different medicines a day. I need to eat
about 3,500 calories a day. I need to exercise every day vigorously for at
least 30 minutes. The discipline isn’t bad; God gives us these challenges
because He loves us and wants us to mature.
Over the years, God has healed
me in different ways. The doctors have healed me by giving me meds to help
my sickness. Faith has helped heal me. One time I had a lung infection
that lasted a year and needed a bronchoscope. The day I had my test, the
Holy Spirit said to my mom, “Your daughter is healed.” The doctor found
nothing in my lungs. Another time, medicine healed me when I had my PICC
line (extended IV) in for two weeks. Treatments have also helped me by
getting the stuff out of my lungs. God gives doctors and researchers
wisdom and information on how to make and use drugs to heal people.
There are keys that help me go
through the year. The first one is a good attitude. Attitude is
everything. If I’m having a good attitude then my treatments go smoother.
Obedience is next. Obeying the
doctors on what I do to maintain my body’s health is very important. If I
don’t obey, I get sick. When I do obey, then I’m healthier. I think
submission is a big part of it. I can obey and do what the doctors say and
what my mom and dad say but not submit. Submission is an attitude. I
really want to submit to the people who help me throughout my life.
The last one is thought life.
If I think that I am sick, but I’m really not, my body will eventually
become sick because my thoughts are very powerful. I have to make sure
that my thoughts are on the solution and not the problem. That will make
me stay healthy.
Sometimes I think about what it
would be like if I didn’t have CF. However, I must dwell on what I do
have, not on what I do not have. I have a good family that loves me very
much, and I have friends that like me no matter what. I believe thinking
on the positive is better than dwelling on the negative. I have a good
life. I’m glad to be alive.
Patricia Frater is a freshman at Glendale
High School in Springfield, Missouri.
THE PATHWAY OF LIFE
By Liz Frater
The mind of
man plans his steps, but the Lord directs them all (Prov. 16:9).
This was the scripture the Lord
gave to us to have our second child, Patricia Ellen Frater. I am so
grateful that the Lord gave us this scripture to help us through the next
few years.
Our daughter Patricia was born
a month prematurely. Within 12 hours of her birth, she had emergency
surgery to remove a knot in her intestine. Due to the problem, her liver,
pancreas, and small and large intestines did not work. What went in came
out. She spent her first 24 days in intensive care. While she was in the
PICU, the doctor also found a hole in her heart; she had a collapsed lung,
jaundice, and several other complications during her stay there. When the
doctor sent her home, she was not sure Patricia would make it.
For the first six months,
Patricia was a “failure-to-thrive” baby; her growth chart was flat. She
could not hold up her head at six months. She had an eating aversion and
would vomit two to three times at each meal. She had to eat a predigested
formula, which smelled very bad. We were instructed to feed her every four
hours around the clock; so we even fed her at two in the morning. She
never demanded to eat. We had to wake her many times to feed her. By the
time she was six months old, the doctor had a G-tube placed to help us
feed her more effectively. The vomiting still continued.
This was a challenging schedule
to keep since we also had a two-year-old son, Aaron Wilson Frater; yet
each day God gave us what we needed to be victorious.
Needless to say, we also spent
a lot of time in and out of doctors’ offices. We had only one car and had
to be very careful about our schedules so it could be shared for all our
needs and we could still get Patricia fed.
Both my husband James and I
were very tired on a consistent basis that first year. We took turns
getting up at 2 a.m. to feed Patricia. James was always home from work in
time to do her 6 p.m. feeding.
Because of the constant stress
of the demanding schedule, I had to become very disciplined about a lot of
things in our lives—especially my thought life. I posted scriptures all
over the house where they would be readily seen and read. The bathroom
mirror, over the phone, on the exhaust hood of the stove, over the sink,
etc., were some of the places I put the notes of God’s Word. We sang
worship songs to Patricia when we fed her. I had to dial down mentally so
I was not uptight when feeding her. I had to work constantly to be
positive about her condition.
God showed me during this time
that all His will, ways, Word, and purposes are absolutely
good. I had to make room several times a day to meditate on His promises.
I made sure I took a nap each day, even if it was only for 15 minutes.
I believe God said to us that
Patricia would be developmentally “up-to-snuff” with the other kids by the
time she was two. On her third birthday, she had passed all the
appropriate levels according to the “Parents as Teachers” evaluations and
was almost over her eating aversion.
God healed the hole in her
heart. The cardiologist said we never had to mention it in her medical
history again due to the healing being so complete.
Her jaundice cleared; she does
have a sluggish liver, but God has provided a medicine that helps it flow
like it should.
Her intestines have healed, and
she is no longer a failure-to-thrive baby. She is 14 years old now, and on
one of her check-ups, the doctor joked that if she continued to grow like
this she would be six feet tall!
When Patricia was 14 months
old, we did find out that she has Cystic Fibrosis. By this time, we were
determined more than ever that she was going to live, have a good life,
and be a well, healthy child. By the age of seven, she had been
hospitalized about 12 times (then we quit counting) and has had numerous
lung infections over the years. God has continued to heal her. Sometimes
it is instantly, sometimes it takes some time; most often we submit to the
doctors and pray as she takes medicine and does breathing treatments.
During Patricia’s life, it has
been important to discipline her in the same way that we discipline our
son. We have the same rules for each child. Self-pity is poison and not
allowed. Obedience and submission is required. Compliance to medical
treatments, schedules, and routines is essential. Forgiveness has been
required even at a young age. When medical personnel had to “hurt” her to
heal her, she was required to forgive them and emote to them. She has been
required to attend church and church functions even when she felt bad. She
has not been allowed to be different than anyone else. Of course there are
exceptions, but she expects God to help her keep up—and He always does.
Patricia loves the Lord. She
has desired to hear the Word of God during the good and bad times of life.
She has learned to have a good confession. She is a normal child, and so
foolishness can be bound in her heart at times, yet the rod of correction
continues to drive it far away. I am confident that Patricia will continue
to serve the Lord all the days of her life.
God has met us at every turn of
the road and supplied our needs. He has done many more miracles in our
lives than can be mentioned here. The most important miracle is the life
of Christ manifested in each Frater today because of the leading of the
Lord. The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his paths. I’m
glad He led us in this way.
Liz Frater
is the office manager at MTS Contracting, Incorporated and a leader of the
CF Family Support Group of the Ozarks.
CF
Dad
By James Frater
I am married with two
children. One child, my daughter Patricia, has Cystic Fibrosis. Being
the husband and father in this family is the most painful, joyous,
challenging, and enriching experience of my life.
Many times, it seemed I wasn’t
going to make it. I have had to deal with interruptions in the routines of
life. CF and its related health problems tend to flair up often, and not
on a convenient schedule. The medical/CF community quickly taught us to
call these flair ups “exacerbations.” For the first five years or so,
Patricia’s exacerbations came every few months and lasted roughly 2-12
weeks each time. Exacerbations meant increasing the manageable 3-hour a
day “maintenance” treatment schedule to 8 hours or more. These treatments
can’t be batched into a single 8-hour marathon to leave a useful,
contiguous block of time for the rest of the day. Treatments have to be
spread out over an 18 or even 24-hour day. Often there is not more than 2
hours between required tasks, sometimes less. To be effective and safe, we
can’t be early or late with the IV antibiotics treatment schedule.
Therefore, many normal activities of life require special scheduling.
It was difficult to go on a
date with my wife. A babysitter would have to be willing and able to learn
and do treatments like chest physiotherapy (CPT) or administration
of IV antibiotics. However, my wife Liz and I realized that getting out
alone together was essential. I came up with a rule early on that turned
out to be critical to our success—no talking about the children when we’re
out on a date. After our CF child is grown and moved out, we will still
have our marriage relationship—so we’re going to take good care of it.
During the first several years
of treatments, we had to spend a lot of time away from home at hospitals
and periodic checkups. Many times, I started to become resentful. I had to
remind myself I wasn’t on a detour—being at the hospital was part of my
assignment as Patricia’s father.
These “interruptions of life”
often meant sleep deprivation as well. Liz and I have alternated the
“night shift” to minimize sleep disruption. When we’re physically “strung
out,” that’s when we must be our own thought police, or it can get
negative in a hurry.
Our social life with others has
been affected as well. It’s possible to go to a party and be back in two
hours, but it may mean we could only spend an hour there—hardly enough to
unwind.
Then there is the problem of
pity or sympathy—it took us years to realize that even when we ourselves
were thoroughly purged of these negative emotions, people still felt sorry
for us. I learned to avoid the topic in new social situations, and we
trained our friends not to speak negatively.
Many don’t comprehend long-term
care-giving, so at times we feel socially disconnected. This is where
American cultural Christianity doesn’t cut it. We have to be intimate with
the person of God. Knowing He always understands me has both comforted me
and caused me to draw closer to Him.
The stress has become our
companion, and I have come to realize that only when stress remains over a
long period of time do I usually change in a permanent way. This type of
marathon stress always feels like too much, but I have learned to yield
and thus grow.
The financial stress has caused
us to think creatively to mitigate some of the added expenses. Studies
show that financial stress is one of the most significant factors leading
to divorce in America. What helped us was to do the budgeting together; we
stay in agreement.
I’ve also dealt with guilt. CF
took my lack of diligence and gave me the opportunity to both seem and be
downright lazy. Home maintenance and yard work often fell by the wayside.
This had a social impact, since we didn’t want to invite people over when
we didn’t feel good about how our place looks. Another big source of guilt
is concerning the child who does not have CF—I often did not spend the
time with my son Aaron that I wanted to. Accumulation of financial debt
adds to the guilt as well.
Liz and I have observed many
people in the CF community who have felt like they were trapped inside a
monster. Here’s a better way to view it—CF is like a bracelet; it’s always
there with me, but I am not inside it or bound by it.
I have had to be willing to
change as a person in fundamental ways. Knowing that these changes are
positive makes it easier to embrace them; for example, I’ve become less
selfish.
More than administering
treatments or anything else, the thing we have done to contribute to
Patricia’s success has been to teach her to obey our voice with a good
attitude. This makes her medical compliance a part of our normal
lifestyle, rather than an exception of some kind. A phrase we have uttered
hundreds of times is, “This is what we do to be healthy.” Daddy takes his
vitamins; Patricia takes her supplements.
Without God’s daily help, we
would not have been able to keep our relationship together. Sometimes we
have needed, “God with skin on him.” Our pastors have helped us keep
things in perspective and sort through issues, both relating to marital
stress and the general stress of the disease.
Each time something happens, it
gets easier to deal with. It will never be fun to bring Patricia to get an
IV, yet we have learned our life is rich and positive. We are not
encouraged by the light at the end of the tunnel; we are walking in the
light. We know we still have room for development, and the best is yet to
come.
James
Frater is a programmer/analyst at McKesson in Springfield, Missouri, and a
leader of the CF Family Support Group of the Ozarks.
A
SIBLING’S STORY
By
Aaron Frater
I’m Patricia Frater’s
brother, and she has a very special gift known as Cystic Fibrosis.
Ever since Patricia was
little, I had defined her by this “disease,” mainly, because of our first
experience together. When she was a newborn, I was very excited. I
couldn’t wait to see my new sister. When she was finally cleared to come
home, I was allowed to hold her. I thought, “Wow, this thing is SO
COOL”....then she decided that it would be prudent to puke on me—thus
ending the “cool-new-sister” phase of my life.
Over the next few years,
she was very sick. With this came a great deal of attention from our
parents for her and a lack of it for me. I viewed this as a failure on my
part to be a “cool” enough son. With this thinking in mind, I tried to
catch her “disease.” I thought that this would somehow get me the
attention that I thought I needed. I would eat after her, drink after her,
and even touch what she touched. After failing to catch it after all of
that, I tried a myriad of other things to get my parents attention.
The next thing that I
used as an attention-grabbing device was the exact opposite to what I had
been doing. I escaped into my mind. Every time something went bad, I
escaped into “la la land” and imagined a place without everything that I
viewed as painful: my parents, my sister, my “friends” at the time. It
turned out to be an extremely harmful fantasy.
As I began to delve deep
into escapism, I would do things to get away, like getting a job. My
parent’s motivation for letting me have a job was so that I would learn to
handle money well. However, I thought this was a way I could be some place
where I felt I belonged, but no one would bother me (or care, for that
matter). Then one day things changed.
One day after attending
youth group, my parents confronted me about my escapism. I was so
overwhelmed. I thought that I had totally escaped their sight. As we
talked, they showed me all of the things that they had done for me—from
soccer, to a violin, to a dog; they had taken every opportunity to give me
the world. This was overwhelming to me. I had seen these things as tools
to get their attention, when I had had it all along. It’s kind of like
trying to find something in a house of mirrors. You may see it, but it
isn’t where you think it is.
That day, I had a revelation: I
have suffered as much as everyone else in my family has. After this
realization, I talked to my pastor, and he helped me purge myself of this
bitterness and resentment that I had toward my sister and parents. After
all that, I have come to believe that God has a better way of life for me
than I can choose myself. Because, you see, I had let all of the escapism
get between God and me.
Now I will explain what I meant
about CF being a “special gift.” Patricia isn’t supposed to be alive, but
she is. She also isn’t supposed to be doing rigorous exercises, but she
is. She is the healthiest person that I know and also the most active.
Every time I look at her, I can’t help but feel empowered. There is no way
that I would be where I am today without her inspirational life, and I am
glad that she will be able to inspire others as well—to get through
adversity or just get through the day. That is her special gift.
Aaron Frater is a junior at Glendale High
School in Springfield, Missouri.
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